Whether you just started last week or are in the middle of a year-long attempt, it’s hard not to lose your patience when trying to conceive. As each month passes, hold on to hope and stay positive with these suggestions:
Understand you are not alone. While it may seem to you that you are the only one struggling with baby making, there are many couples who do not get lucky the moment they start contemplating about a family. Join internet forums, where you can share your experiences, read up on what others did to cope with it and find an emotional outlet to your problems.
Imagine yourself as a parent. Easier said than done, but imagining yourself as carrying a life within you and holding a baby in your arms, does make you feel better. Fretting over the situation makes you even more stressful and stress is again one of the factors that may hamper your chances to get pregnant.
Do not compare yourself to others. This is one of the biggest mistakes that you could do. Comparing your ‘behind the scenes’ with someone else’s ‘highlights’ will make you very unhappy . You never know what could be the issues that the other person had to deal with. Additionally, no two lives are the same. It will happen when your time comes, it sure will.
Stay busy during the two-week wait. Focus on other things and people to get your mind off what you can not control. Plan a date with your partner, a night with girls, or take on extra work to keep you busy and active instead of at home counting the days.
Remember and reclaim what you used to love. The excitement and stress of starting a family can easily cause you to forget what you used to think about and do in your spare time. Get out a pen and paper and make a list of your favorite pastimes, hobbies and activities you did alone, with your spouse or with friends. Everyday try to check one item off the list.
- Find a hobby. It is true that when you badly want something, your mind is occupied with only the ifs and buts of the situation. It is easy to fall prey to the unending negative thoughts in your mind and give way to sadness. Distracting your mind and giving it something constructive to do will rejuvenate your mind and body. It could be anything from writing articles, reading books, dancing, painting, playing sports to socializing with people you love.
Don’t let your period pull you down for days. If you are using an ovulation calendar, you will likely know exactly when your period should or shouldn’t arrive. If it does come, you aren’t expected to be cheery but try not to let its arrival pull you down for days. Instead try to change your perspective and expect your period to come. Then, if it doesn’t, you’ll be more surprised than disappointed.
Take time to relax. Settle your nerves and take time each day to relax. Take a bath, paint your toenails, do yoga or whatever mind and body therapies that soothe you. Breathe, believe, and do not lose hope.
- You may try meditating and learn some breathing exercises to relax your mind. You could join a class or watch videos online and start practicing it everyday. You may find it difficult in the beginning as it takes time for you to truly reap benefits. This will not only relax your muscles but will make it easier for you to have a positive outlook in life.
Spend more time with your partner. Trying to conceive is notorious for turning sex into a chore. Spend some time with your spouse that doesn’t require planned intimacy. Go for a walk, play sports together or sign up for a class and talk about something other than getting pregnant.
- It is important to give yourself little breaks in between. Spend quality time with your partner and explore the unknown things about his personality. Get to know him more as a person and celebrate small occasions in your life. Organize get togethers and relive the younger days with him. This may not only surprise him but will also reignite the passion that could be lost in the stressful baby making process.
Stop obsessing over what ifs. It is inevitable that thoughts of pregnancy symptoms will cross your mind every now and then. Swollen breasts, abdominal twinges – these things can generally make us giddy with “what if” excitement. You don’t have to totally ignore these thoughts, but try to keep them balanced and controlled, so your imagination doesn’t get the best of you and cause you to have anxiety or extreme highs and lows.
Acknowledge hard feelings. Preconception is not all butterflies, rainbows, and women who never feel down. It’s OK to let yourself experience sad emotions, whether it’s fear, anxiety, or grief. Acknowledge those feelings and work through them instead of hiding or denying them – which is unhealthy and unproductive.
Surround yourself with positivity. Whether it is people or the situations you find yourself in, be surrounded by positive influences to help keep your head up. On a good day, pin up note cards with positive words and phrases on them for you to see everyday. Words like “healthy”, “beautiful” and “balanced”, will remind you to smile on the harder days.
Take a break. Don’t be afraid to take a month or two off. Giving yourself a break doesn’t mean you are giving up; it just means you are taking some time to regroup.
Seek support and let others help. Trying to conceive is an intimate, personal topic, and even more so when it is taking longer than you expected. While it is OK to keep things between you and your spouse, consider letting a friend or family member help. Trusted confidants can offer love and support and know how to serve you better if they know what is going on.
Look at the bigger picture. In events like these, we are forced to believe in a supreme power which is beyond us. Let time take its course and simply hope for the best. If you believe, you can.