Premature ejaculation, or ejaculating before you or your partner wanted you to, is a common problem that strikes most men at some point in their lives. Several factors can influence when ejaculation occurs, but it can be controlled with some forethought or, in extreme cases, medical intervention. Here are some strategies to help you get over premature ejaculation and improve your sexual stamina.
Understand that premature ejaculation is not a rare disorder. Dr. Kinsey is a well known American sex researcher who is known for conducting a survey which stated that three fourth of the subjects used to climax earlier than desired. In other words, three out of every four men are known to face this issue. Hence, do not fret and assume that you are the only one suffering from this disorder. In fact, premature ejaculation can happen to almost any man.
- If we talk about science, premature ejaculation has its own evolutionary concept. By getting a climax quickly, there is a greater chance of the deposition of the sperm. In the ancient days men used to survive in a very dangerous environment where threat and perils lurked from every nook and cranny. Hence it was quite beneficial for the sperm to enter the vagina quickly.
Use a condom. Whether you believe it or not, it really helps most of the people. Condoms lower the stimulation in most men and this gives them more time before they ejaculate.
- Avoid ultra thin condoms. After a while you can opt for a brand which gives you more stimulation.
- Certain condom brands have a coating of a numbing gel within. This will help you to prolong your ejaculation, but ensure that you wear the condom on the correct side.
Use proper pressure. Knowing about your body is really helpful if you wish to prolong your ejaculation. All you need to do is apply pressure to a couple of points.
- Perineum Pressure: You should press the perineum, which is located between the scrotum and the anus. This spot is connected to the prostate gland. The prostate compresses and expands when you reach an orgasm. It then releases the ejaculation fluid. You can make your partner pleasure you by pressing this point to extend the ejaculation.
- Testes Tug: When you are about to reach the orgasm the scrotum raises and comes near the body. Thus, if you wish to prolong the ejaculation then you can just pull the testes down to create some distance from the body. You can also ask your partner help you in doing this.
Use an analgesic cream or spray. There are two classes of these products. The first is the traditional “numbing” creams and sprays that have been on the market for some time. The upside is that you’ll feel less sensation, which will delay ejaculation. The downside is your partner may suffer a loss of sensation as well—and of course less sensitive intercourse is not always an appealing notion, even in these circumstances.
- A new range of tropical medications have been launched which get absorbed by the skin and give a slight anesthetic signal to the sensory nerves under the stratum. This lets the men control their ejaculation without compromising on the pleasure. The partner can also enjoy the complete sensation.
Masturbate frequently. Often the problem of premature ejaculation gets resolved by frequent masturbation. Men have an unending supply of sperm. Hence if you masturbate regularly then it will help you to gain better control and you would be able to take a long time before you climax.
- You should masturbate before you begin sex. Masturbate for around 15 minutes before reaching a climax. In case your partner is willing to join you, then you can also indulge in foreplay and masturbate each other. Then you can start again after your unmanageable issue is resolved.
- You can indulge in sex more than once at the same time if your partner is willing for it. This can help you to enjoy more and prolong the pleasure. Your performance enhances with each session and you are able to control the climax for a longer time. However do not experiment at the cost of your health and wellbeing. If your testes begin to pain then you should take a break for a while and let your body relax.
- There are no side effects of masturbation. Ages ago there were a lot of misconceptions regarding masturbation. It was believed that masturbating regularly would make your eyesight weak, would deplete the sperm count in your body making you infertile or would give you hairy palms. However these rumors hold no ground. In fact it is now believed that masturbation helps in the prevention of prostate cancer.
Breathe properly. The organs of our body, including the reproductive organs need complete energy to function properly. If you take deep breaths then you can control the ejaculatory urge and it is not considered weird to breathe heavily while indulging in a hot session of lovemaking.
Distract your mind. In case you find that you are getting very excited then you should immediately divert your mind to other thoughts like thinking about some numeric figures, peak hour traffic travel or a baseball game. However ensure that you do not drift away too deep into your thoughts. Just divert the mind for a couple of seconds before once more getting back to your partner. Keep disturbing thoughts at bay. Thoughts which cause stress will make you lose the arousal completely.
Talk to your sexual partner. Talking and sharing your feelings is very important in sex. You can discuss the issue of early ejaculation and thank your stars that you are not suffering from retarded ejaculation where you cannot reach an orgasm even when you have strong sexual urges.
- Tell your partner that you are nearing a climax and are going to pull out. You can use this time to arouse your partner orally or with foreplay.
- You can resume the act when your penis is ready for it. Once more you can pull out just before reaching a climax.
Attempt edging. Edging (orgasm control) is the technique where you should maintain a very extreme level of sexual arousal in order to delay the ejaculation. You need to practice to improve this technique. The National Institutes of Health suggests two techniques to overcome premature ejaculation:
- Stop-and-start technique: You can carry on with the intercourse till you feel that you are on the verge of an orgasm. Then halt all stimulation for half a minute before starting once more. This pattern should be continued until you can’t control any further and need to ejaculate.
- Squeeze technique: You should carry on with the intercourse until you are on the verge of orgasm. Then immediately and suddenly stop the stimulation before slowly squeezing the thumb & forefinger on your penis at the place where the gland connects to the shaft. You can ask your partner to do this for you. Squeeze for a couple of seconds and then stop for around half a minute before you begin indulging in intercourse. Continue with this pattern until you finally wish to ejaculate.
Experiment with various sex positions. This spices up your sex life. While experimenting, you may find some positions to be more fun and pleasurable while helping you to delay your climax. You and your partner can experiment to find out about their pleasure points.
The modern men love the woman on top position and believe that it helps them to avoid premature ejaculation. The missionary position will only make matters worse for people suffering from premature ejaculation.
- You can also buy a book like Kama Sutra which contains numerous sex positions. You can then start experimenting with the different positions and enjoy to the core. This really energizes your sexual life and you may be surprised at how much pleasure some of the positions will give you.
Never neglect foreplay. Often premature ejaculation is only in the mind. Even if you do ejaculate early, you can continue with the foreplay to satisfy your partner and enjoy yourself too. You can indulge in oral or manual gratification or even experiment with toys.
Reduce your speed. Based on your personal choice, you can reduce the movement and try out subtle and tantalizing intercourse to ensure that you can control the orgasm for a while. In case you are on the verge of ejaculating, reduce your speed and explore another position. You can also try stimulating your partner by any other method.
Keep a check on your stress level. The modern men’s sexual prowess is often hindered by anxiety and stress. Ensure that you do not get stressed about the issue. It is better to work on the timing of the orgasms. Even if you do ejaculate prematurely, you can still create magic with your partner.
- Do not expect to have a perfect climax. Rather look at intercourse as a method to attain an orgasm and consider it as a time to enjoy the sensuous pleasure with your partner. It should be a time to indulge in the pleasures of sex without worrying about ejaculating. Speak to your partner about this new idea so that you are not under any pressure about the time of ejaculation.
Try to control your orgasm. If you masturbate or have an understanding partner then you should focus on better controlling the climax. You should try to stimulate yourself until you are on the verge of a climax before you take a break. Repeat this for a couple of times before you finally ejaculate. With practice you will be able to identify when your body is on the verge of getting an orgasm.
- You should also try to find the point before which you can successfully control. Also know when you reach a break point when you can no longer control. This awareness will be helpful while you are indulging in sexual intercourse and you will know the exact time when you should slow down or change your position to make it last longer.
Practice PC muscle exercises. Kegel exercises which involve flexing & strengthening the PC muscle is very beneficial in controlling premature ejaculation. The PC muscle is present in males and females and Kegel exercises can be done by people of both the sexes.
- Find the PC muscle. Place your fingers behind the testicles and then pretend to urinate. Now quickly contract the muscle as you would to control the flow of urine. The muscle which was contracted is the PC muscle.
- Flex the muscles often: You should quickly squeeze the muscle at least 10 – 20 times before taking a short break. Repeat this two to three times a day. You can safely do this exercise even when you are at work or while travelling.
- You should contract the PC muscle if you feel like ejaculating. After the muscle has become strong you will be able to control it in the same way as you would control the flow of urine.
See a doctor. If you routinely ejaculate less than a minute and a half after beginning vaginal intercourse, and none of the above fixes have worked, it might be time to see a doctor. You can visit a sex therapist, urologist, psychologist, or psychiatrist for help.
- Do not let your anxiety about premature ejaculation stop you having sex. Sex can be beneficial to people by lowering stress levels and has even been found to reduce the risks of prostate cancer in males. If you are concerned about your performance, focus on stimulating your partner in ways besides just intercourse.
- Go pee before having sex. It helps a lot. It sounds funny and strange but it is true.
- Keep in mind that erectile problems come and go, and this issue is most likely not permanent.
- Additionally, most men gain more control over ejaculating as they get older. If you’re still young, try not to worry too much — you’ll probably grow out of premature ejaculation, especially with more practice.